End of the year wrap up

The last couple weeks are a blur. They usually are for me this time of year. The time between Thanksgiving and Christmas seems like a short anxiously awaited vacation. You are full of anticipation while waiting for it to occur. You plan to use your time wisely and get the most out of every moment. But, in the end, it speeds by and you are lucky if you remember to brush your teeth..or in my case...take your medication.

There have been no major changes with me. I have thought of little things I could write about, but none that would have been longer than a line or two..so I didn't. My appointments have been regular. I missed one appointment at UCSF when my nephews suprised me and showed up at my house at 11 pm on a Sunday night. One is a marine shipping off to Afghanistan this year and the other is a Sheriff in Colorado. It was such a great suprise, but I didn't take my bedtime pills on time, which is imperitive for test accuracy, and I couln't imagine driving to San Francisco on 3 1/2 hours sleep. So I called and cancelled. I'll admit, I still feel bad. I think I will be until I get to go back.

I still am fighting with insomnia. I am up now, at 4am, which is funny since I took a sleeping pill hours ago. So unless I can type sleeping..I don't think they are working.

I must say that overall I am doing really well. I still fight with some side effects of the medications, and pee constantly..but I feel somewhat normal a couple days a week. I met with a trainer and am trying to get on a strict schedule. As I have had so many surgeries and my stomach is filled with stitches, cuts and hernias, I want to take it slow and heal everything the right way. I am excited to rebuild my core and get my general stamina back. My first session is on Tuesday. I am sure I will be unable to move the following 3 days.

I hope to go back to UCSF in the next week. Hopefully then I will feel better that my kidneys are stable. Always reassuring to hear!

Hope you all had an amazing holiday and a safe New Years.
Catherine

post doctor follow up

Monday, I had a quick appointment at UCSF. This is the first time my appt took just 2 hours. I was very pleased about that. As usual, I started with a blood and pee test followed up by an appointment with a nurses aide, a nurse and a nephrologist (kidney doctor). I asked my nurse Melanie about both my inability to sleep and the pain from my shopping excursion. She immediately knew my lack of sleep was directly linked to my anti-rejection meds. Melanie said my Prograff was too high and lowered the meds. Hopefully in a couple of days I will again be able to fall asleep with no problem.

She had the nephrologist come and look at my stomach. The Dr was happy to see it was not where my kidney had been placed. She thinks I just pulled a stitch and everything is ok. Its a relief to hear that my kidney is fine, but I must admit it makes me feel like a big pussy. When you hurt as bad as I did, you are SURE something major is wrong.

So for now, I am just laying low around the house..hoping to get through this week with less headaches.

Cath

Happy Late Thanksgiving

This week was a long week for me. I really pushed myself on a long Thanksgiving day, and even cooked a turkey dinner for 7. For my family, 7 is nothing. There are usually 20 just with immediate family, so 7 is nothing. I promised to make it low key and just do the basic turkey, stuffing, gravy, potatoes and green beans. But by the time dinner was served, I was so tired I was nauseous. Donovan had run a turkey trot and then there was brunch with the in-laws. The day was very busy. Our real family thanksgiving was on Friday, so I was suppose to just rest after dinner, but my brother from New York was in town and wanted to visit and came over with his 3 kids and grandson a day early. They stayed until 1am and by the next day I was really sick.

I was a no show for my traditional early morning shopping trip with my mom and sister and slept until dinnertime. I got enough energy to get to my sisters for dinner, and then came back home and went to bed. I had almost the same day Saturday. There were many family events planned while my brother and his family were in town...most not attended by me. I again made it to dinner and to say goodbye. They left very early this morning.

I spent early this week resting up for this holiday weekend. Needless to say I ended up very disappointed. I feel like I disappointed my brothers family and missed most of the fun. I was really hopeful that I would be great by Thanksgiving. I am actually a little worse.

I have had headaches all week. If that wasn't bad enough, today I tried to make up a little holiday shopping. At the first store, I seemed to have pulled something in my stomach. I was in so much pain I struggled to get back to the car. I drove home trying not to cry. My mom was with me. She put Donovan in the car and helped load everything from the cart, but the trip was very disappointing. Chris is off playing hockey for the first time. I am sad that I will have to tell him the bad news when he gets home. I am sure like he feels like he can't leave for a second.

Tomorrow I am off to see my surgeon at UCSF early in the morning. I will have a lot to ask about...the headaches, and now the stomach. For tonight, I am just resting so more laying around.

I will end with a small "shoutout" to my cousin. She had an eventful weekend. She came home to find a burglar with his car packed with her flat panel television. She is a single mom and blocked the burglar in with her car, her two daughters with her, and called the cops. Us girls may look sweet and innocent, but we are tough as nails. Looks can be very deceiving. Congrats Suzanne. We are so glad you, your girls, and all your property are all ok and the bad guy is off the streets.

Catherine

a late post

Sorry for not posting for a while. It was hard with Chris gone, and since he has been back, I have just been trying to catch up. The last week has been very difficult for me. Not because I am really sick, or in tremendous pain, but because I am not normal yet. I don't have the energy to do all the housework yet, or handle everything life gives us each day. But I feel like I should be better by now. I look around and I see a million things to do. But, I still have a lot of limitations. I just hope that down the road I can be back to the way I was before I got sick...or even better.

Today I went to my month check up. I counted my month as 4 weeks post surgery. But, the doctors considered the 16th of this month as my month post surgery. I am losing one medication, Fluconazole or Diflucan. That is a pill I take once a week. Everything else is staying the same, but even that one pill is a start. I also was given permission to drive a little bit and take a bath. I wasn't suppose to be allowed to do these things for two more weeks. Amazing how little advancements are such victories.

The time Chris was gone was very hard on me. I rely on him so much. He really is my rock. My mother was great. She was constantly here making sure I was ok and taking care of Donovan. My in-laws even took Donovan for 24 hours. I can't tell you how empty my house is without my boys. It is just so hard to take care of a 3 year old when you can't pick him up. Its very difficult to convince yourself you are a good mother when you can't be alone with your child all day.

I had my usual tests today at UCSF. I didn't hear anything back, so I guess that is good. Everything seems to be stable. I tried to stop by Sarahs on the way home, but I didn't get a hold of her until I was back in San Jose. I leave for UCSF at 6.15 am. I usually leave to come back home around lunch. I just couldn't get ahold of her before then. I will post an update on her as soon as I hear.

I can't thank you all enough for your support. The meals, helping with Donovan..even the littlest chores mean so much to me. None of it goes unnoticed. I think it is human nature to concentrate on the negative. I have lost friends who expect me to be the same person I was before I got sick. They look at me to be there for them in a way I can't be right now. But so many more have stepped up and become amazing sources of strength for me.

For that I am really greatful.

Catherine

Lonely Week

Let me start by apologizing for the mistake in my last post. I said I would miss Chris last week. I meant I would miss Chris next week...which is now.

Chris left Sunday very early and caught a flight to Ft Lauderdale via Houston. The flight from Houston to Florida was an adventurous one. He said there were 15 rows, 3 seats each row on the flight and it was EXTREMELY bumpy. He finished by saying how glad he was that I wasn't on that flight. Didn't sound fun at all. For now he is studying hard at the PGA educational center in Port St Lucy..or somewhere near there.

I have been doing as well as can be expected while he is gone. I have not had a bad headache and my mom has been helpful. I know it is really hard for her. She is trying to balance taking care of me, my 3 year old Donovan, and my ailing father. Tomorrow night, Donovan will spend 24 hours with Chris' parents. It should be a nice break for him and my mom can concentrate on my father. I am fine, but not being able to pick up Donovan or drive anywhere...makes it very scary if there is an emergency. I just do not want to be alone with him. Not being able to pick Donovan up is a very scary thing. And if I needed to drive him to the emergency room, I couldn't. I really do feel trapped. I can't wait until I can drive again. I feel like a teenager dreaming of his/her driver's license..and impending freedom.

I continue to have blood draws an average of 2x a week. No real changes to report. Everything seems to be stable. On the negative side, I am not getting a reduction in pills yet. But, I will take the stability any day.

4 more days until Chris' return..but who is counting. :)

Catherine

3 weeks post surgery

Today marks three weeks since I had my transplant. In a lot of ways I am better than expected. I am trying to slowly take myself off pain pills. The incision pain has decreased a lot over the last week, but with my headaches, it is hard to take nothing.

The hardest part for me right now is that I am tired of excepting help. I still can't lift more than 10 pounds and I can not drive. So, there is a lot I can't do. My father was admitted into the hospital for an infection and is not expected to get home for a couple of days. This means Mom is helping Dad and not going to be around. This wouldn't be as tough, but Chris is off to the PGA offices in Florida next week for some testing. So I am going to be struggling alone. Mom has told me not to panic as she will find a way to keep me from being alone and stranded, but I know that taking care of me and Dad will be overwhelming for her.

I never expected to be so dependant on Chris. I was so independent when we met. Being sick is really teaching me to accept help and lean on Chris in a way I never knew I could. I am just so glad he is so patient with me. I will miss him greatly last week.

Sarah is doing great. She is learning to do little walks and even some very light weightlifting. By light, I mean 3 pound weights. Her and I are both very cautious as to not tear our internal stitches. I learned that lesson the hard way my last surgery when I didn't listen and tore my stitches and ended up with a surgical hernia. Now I know better. I always have to learn things the hard way. :)

Thanks again for all the support. The meals that come 3x a week are a life savor. Not having to worry about dinner or large grocery shopping is extremely helpful to me. The food has been amazing. I love to cook, and cant wait to be healthy enough to do so, but I definitely have some new recipes to try.

Had a blood test this morning to test my anti-rejection levels. I will let all know if there is any news.
Cath

UCSF Meeting

I apologize for the delay in getting this up. I was very tired when I got home from San Francisco yesterday and had a headache most of today.

The short story is my numbers are good. So good in fact that I don't have to return to UCSF for 2 weeks. I do have to add one pill back to my daily consumption. My prograff numbers were lower (that is an anti rejection medication). So, I have increased it a little bit.

The bad news is they think my headaches are from my medication, and as they told me from the start, I am just going to have to deal with it. I am doing my best.

Everyone seems to be sick these days. That is scary since the doctors told me I can't get sick the first two months. Don't know what to do other than keep washing my hands. Some things are out of our control.

Saw Sarah while I was in San Francisco. I am pleased to report she looked the best she has so far. I think she has doubled her walking pace, which was close to turtle speed last week. She is making good strides towards healing.

It is late, I am going back to sleep. Have to wake up again in 2 hours to pee.

Cath

A quick post

I have been fighting headaches and nausea the last couple of days. I really hope it is the same ol migraines and isn't the medication. If it is, I am just going to have to deal with it. The doctor told me I may experience migraines the first 6 months, and I was very prone to have that side effect. But when I was ok the first week, I really thought I got lucky. So I am trying to stay positive and stay quiet until this period passes. Tomorrow I spend another morning at UCSF. I should get some additional information then.

Now, I must make an adjustment to my last post. Apparently I misunderstood Sarah. When she pulled off her strips over her incisions, it didn't start bleeding. It just was open. When she said it was like a stab wound I really freaked out. I had this vision of a bloody shirt and panic set in. I am so relieved to hear that the wound was open, but not bleeding. I was in shock that UCSF didn't call her in immediately. Now I understand why. Sarah says her incisions closed up by the next day. She even had her first outing today. She went to visit a friend and even made it up a flight of stairs. So good news on her end.

I will update again after meeting with the surgeon tomorrow.

Cath

Halloween wrap up

Yesterday I had a great Halloween. I felt decent and was able to sit outside and hand out candy to the trick or treaters. Donovan went trick or treating and we even got some of our well known decorations out to celebrate (thank you Jason and Tricia for the help). Today, however I am paying the price.

I am extremely tired and nauseous and I have a bad headache. I am trying my best to get myself better as quickly as possible.

Sarah had a really bad day yesterday. Her incision opened up and she began to bleed. She says yesterday was horrible, but today she is doing much better and she does not have to return to the doctor. I can't say how bad I feel at each set back she has. I just wish I had all the pain.

Donovan has had a great week. He has had a nanny and a babysitter helping us all week. He got a couple of play dates including a Halloween party with his main squeeze Audrey and her brother Max and another friend Maya, and an afternoon with the Streibecks in which they baked cookies and made puppets,and meals with Aunt Tricia/Uncle Jason and Aunt Theresa. I really think he is having a great time and he sees his life getting back to normal. It is still hard not to be able to hold him. But, I am keeping him really busy.

Back to resting so I can feel better tomorrow.

Cath

The day before halloween

I apologize for not posting. I have been trying to attend some of Donovan's Halloween festivities and then resting as much as possible.

I never dreamed I would be able to attend Donovan's Halloween Parade. But with my mom as acting chauffeur, I was able to get there and watch the event. Donovan was dressed as a pirate and announced that he was going to be like Daddy, dress up and wave to the crowd. He led his class out and waved and smiled. The first lap around the parking lot, he didn't even notice me or his Grandmother. I am so happy I was able to attend this event. I feel like I have missed so much the last 4 years, but I am so excited to not miss things in the future.

As for my kidney update, my temperature, and blood pressure have been stable since Monday and I had a blood test today. I didn't hear anything back, which means everything is stable. I talked to Sarah yesterday. She sounded much better. Still not walking any hills, but her spirits were up. I take this to mean her pain was down which makes me really happy.

I expected my weight to fluctuate due to the steroids to keep me from rejecting the kidney. Last time they dumped steroids into me, I put on 35 pounds in 2 weeks. I had mentally prepared myself for that. But, my main surgeon is not a fan of long term steroids and filled me full of prednisone for 5 days, then pulled me off completely. I am on Cellcept and Prograff to keep me from rejecting the kidney. I take 12 pills of those 2 medications alone each day. But, I have lost 20 pounds since my surgery. I was pleasantly surprised. I hope that continues. Between the dialysis solution and steroids, I had almost given up trying to get back to my normal weight. This gives me hope that in the next year, I will be back to a decent size. A size in which I can wear my "cute" clothes and suits again.

Its late, and I am tired. I am excited to try to do a little Halloween celebrating tomorrow with Donovan (I even carved a pumpkin). This surgery has been hard..the hardest I have ever gone through, but I prepared for the worst. I am excited I am not missing all of Halloween. This is the first year Donovan is old enough to anticipate Halloween. I am glad I am "conscious" enough to enjoy it.

Off to bed.
Love to all.
Catherine

1st trip back to UCSF

Today Sarah and I had our first follow up appointment at UCSF. It was really long and a lot of information was thrown at me, but I will try to sum up.

Sarah and I began with blood tests. We had almost every blood test under the sun, but the point was to see overall kidney function. The best test for that is creatinine.
(http://www.medicinenet.com/creatinine_blood_test/article.htm)
Sarah's creatinine was 1.2, and mine was 1.35. (You can see normal creatinine scores on previous link) My creatinine was over 2 while I was pregnant and escalated to almost 10 before I was on dialysis. This is excellent news. Sarah, however started at 0.6. They don't expect her to ever be that again.

Sarah got to see the nurse first as I had to meet with a social worker to discuss medical, medication expenses and overall issues I will be dealing with the rest of my life. I have to balance trying to not get dropped from insurance due to my chronic illness and not rejecting the kidney.

Sarah had decided she had given herself a hernia (like me after my last surgery). She really pushed herself to walk, and she got a small blood clot. This was very alarming to me as how serious it was when my father had a blood clot. But, I guess this was just under the skin and the Drs were not worried. She was told to not push herself as much.

I got a clean bill of health...under the circumstances. Sarah's kidney seems to love my body and it is clearing everything out. I am being reminded to pee every hour as to not tear my stitches on my bladder (which Sarah does not have to worry about thank god) and go over more medications. I think at the end of this, I should consider being a pharmacist. I could say "oh, I know that drug...I was on it once" for almost anything that was given out.

After that Sarah and I went to pick up our new prescriptions. Sarah and I both got more pain pills and I got some additional nausea pills as when I take 15 pills without nausea medication..I can't keep them down.

I was also told to not push it and to let myself heal. The worst news I got today was that I would not be able to pick Donovan up at 6 weeks. I am too pick up less than 10 pounds the first 6 weeks and 5 pounds each week after. Which means if Donovan doesn't gain any weight, I can hold him in 10 weeks, or 8 weeks from Thursday October 30th. That is a long time to not pick up my baby.

I am tired, hope this helps inquiring minds.
Love to all
Catherine

A trip to Disney on Ice

So, after having my son stay with grandparents and aunts for the week following my surgery, I really wanted to try to take him out to let him know his family is still here for him. My dear friend Tricia got us handicap tickets to Disney on Ice tonight. We went and had a "family date". Donovan had a blast, but it was quite an experience for me.

I took 2 pain pills before the trip to try to enjoy it as much as possible. The big event for me, was maneuvering to the bathroom before the 1st intermission. I now know I am very good at getting around s turns in a wheelchair. What were the Arena folk thinking making those bathrooms. They are not very handicap friendly!

After all was said and done, Donovan had danced and laughed and hugged and kissed us all night. So, in our minds, it was worth the hassle. Thanks Tricia~ We had a blast.

More soon.
Cath

A Busy Day

So, I decided to be daring today and hit the road for something other than Dr visits. I have visited Sarah, but this was my first "public appearance".

I met my dad, mom and niece for lunch. Chris was kind enough to drive me, and it was very painful, but I really liked the idea of being normal again.

I made it all the way through the meal, although I was very uncomfortable, I was glad I went. I came home, immediately took some additional pain medication and am now comfortably resting in my bed.

On a positive note, my kidneys are working so well, I get to drop 2 rejection medications in the morning. That means I am down to 15 pills before breakfast. I will celebrate each pill I decrease!

Cath

Homecoming!

Today after a "fun filled" trip to UCSF, I made the trek home.

I went for a blood draw to see how the new kidney was doing (well, actually the anti-rejection medication). I had to wait 20 minutes to get into the lab tech. FYI, after surgery, sitting in a waiting room chair for 20 minutes feels like 10 years!. I get in and the tech was angry as I did not have the appropriate paperwork. After explaining that I was fasting and could not take my meds and was in no condition to run around and try to rectify the situation, she reluctantly took my blood. She poked me as I have been poked 1000 times the last 3 years, and of course, nothing. So she jabbed the needle all the way in, as hard as she could. My blood flew up the tube..and all over the place. I was scared to death. I really don't feel pain at all with most blood draws. Needles are not a fear of mine. This nurse...is! After that, I got a lecture about what to do before my next draw on Monday. Then I scurried back to the car as fast as my injured body could take me. I could not get out of there fast enough.

The next hour I spent in the car, with a pillow firmly placed between my stomach and the seat belt. Good news, I arrived home much more comfortable than expected. Other than some nausea from the medications, I had a good day from that point on.

So glad to be home. So glad to have my son around. So glad to go to bed...in my own bed.

Till Tomorrow,
Love
Cath

Wednesday Night

So, I didn't post earlier as it was a hard day. I was very nauseous today and struggled much more than yesterday. The most normal of bodily functions have become more difficult. I felt like I took a step back today, but I hope that I continue tomorrow my forward progress.

I am cleared to move back to San Jose tomorrow to recuperate in my own home. This is exciting and scary all at the same time. My day consists of rest, trips to the bathroom and meals. Tomorrow I will travel to UCSF for blood work before the drive home. It will be uncomfortable..but I will make do.

Going to bed as it is late. More soon.
Cath

Tuesday begins

Today I continue to improve. I am spending the day doing...NOTHING. I really want to make sure I am rested and able to go home on Thursday.

Yesterday I had Michelle and Payton visit, as well as Donovan and Chris' brother and sister in law. It was so good to see Donovan but he almost kicked my stomach a couple of times..that could give me a heart attack. At the end of the day, I was definitely tired and ready to lie and heal.

So, I said I would let all know some of my restrictions. My binder is HUGE..so here are a few of my favorites.

1) I can never be around people who have live immunity shots given 2 to 3 days following their shots as I will not be able to fight off the virus. (mumps ect) This includes Donovan.
2) The next 2 months my food must be cooked. No med rare steak or Eggs over easy and definitely no sushi (sniff sniff)
3) No visits to the dentist for 6 months..no visits to the dentist for life without first taking medication and clearing with transplant team
4) Must pee every 2 hours all night every night for next 6 months as to not tear stitches in bladder
5) Always wear sunscreen and sunglasses as my risk for getting skin cancer has increased almost 20% due to low immunity for kidney.

This is all part of my transplant training. It will be life changing, but I still have a lot more freedom. Now I am going back to doing what I do best these days..nothing.

love to all.
Catherine

Happy Monday

I am suprising Aimee with a post of my own, although she has been doing an awesome job.

I just left the hospital and have reached my 2nd destination of the Comfort Inn in San Francisco. I have a great view of the Golden Gate, room service, good cable and high speed internet. I am content. This is to help adjust with all my changes before I go home where Donovan, all my pets and responsibilities lie. The last 5 days has been very intense. But, today is a happy one for me.

The surgery was harder than I thought in some ways, but exactly what I thought as well. Sarah continues to struggle with nausea and pain. That is hard on me. She really has given me the ultimate gift in her kidney. She keeps joking I get nothing else for Christmas this year, but I really can't express my gratitute. How do you thank someone for doing something so selfless and loving. SHe is an amazing friend and I am so greatful she was willing to make such a sacrifice.

I must admit, I am on a lot of drugs at the moment and fear that my blog won't make much sense. I really should leave this to Aimee, but I had an opportunity to say thanks for all the thoughts and prayers. The last 24 hours I have continued to improve and believe I am on my way to a good recovery.

The next 6 months will be tough for me. I have a lot more restricitions than I realized, but to be off dialysis should change my life enough that the others won't seem like much of a comprimise at all.

I will post more with my restrictions later.

love to all.
Cath

Sunday Update!

Catherine is continuing to make progress down the road to recovery. Saturday was filled with plenty of pain and nausea meds, so Cath was pretty comfortable all day. All the pills make her stomach hurt, but no worse than she imagined. She is plugging through with a positive attitude, and is very excited that Sarah's kidney is working so well in its new home!

Sarah left the hospital on Saturday. She was still in some pain and suprised that the doctors let her go so soon, but she is very excited to be sleeping in her own bed!

Today, Cath was very happy to have her catheter removed! Once the catheter is out, it's important to pee every hour so the stitches in the bladder don't tear. Once she does this a couple times with no complications, she gets her IV removed and can be discharged from the hospital. Cath says this is the hard part, and she had a little trouble with it today. Hopefully things turn around soon so Cath can be cleared to leave. Fingers crossed!

Once Cath is discharged, she will move to a hotel in San Francisco for a few days while she continues her post-op treatment. It won't be long before she is back at home, catching up on her Tivo :)

More to come soon!

The Days After Surgery

Catherine was doing well on Friday, despite the fact that she suffered through a 12-hour shift with "Nazi Nurse" who switched her from the good, strong painkillers to oral Vicodin. She was feeling quite a bit of pain, but managed to make it down the hallway to Sarah's room four times! Catherine was glad that Sarah had a much nicer nurse, especially since Sarah was really hurting.

When shift change came, Nazi Nurse was replaced with Mhelanie, a much nicer nurse who remembered Cath from the day of her surgery (Catherine came out of the OR and tried to hug her, called her Mom and said "Thank you for taking care of me!"). Mhelanie gave Cath some stronger pain medicine, which made Catherine very happy.

Sarah was released from the hospital on Saturday. The doctors are expecting to release Catherine on Sunday, but might hold her for another day or so. She was feeling better on Saturday, and enjoyed listening to the Coyotes play the Canadiens on XM Radio.

More to come soon....

Making some progress...

Good Morning all!

Catherine had an okay night last night. After the surgery, she was in a little pain. But the nursing staff at UCSF is doing everything they can to make her as comfortable as possible. Cath says she enjoyed the "bar" in the operating room and loved the pain cocktails the anesthesiologist gave her. Apparently, they make her pretty funny to talk to... She slept from about 3am-6am, and felt good enough this morning that she wanted to get up and visit Sarah. Standing up made her feel really nauseas, so the nurses sent her back to bed. They said she couldn't see Sarah unless she was able to walk there. A few hours later, our tenacious Cath walked down the hallway!

Cath and Sarah were so happy to see each other for the first time after the surgery. Unfortunately, Sarah had a difficult night. The anesthesia made her very itchy and her face puffed up. She was worried that she was having an allergic reaction, but the nurse said it was nothing to worry about. Chris stayed up all night running back and forth between Cath and Sarah, taking care of both of them. What a guy.. :)

Catherine says her pain is well under control. Although all the pain medicine makes her very sleepy, she is in good spirits.

More to come later tonight!

Transplant Update!!!

Hello Everyone, this is Aimee. I'm Catherine's niece and I'll be helping her manage this blog while she is in the hospital. I will post updates as often as I can to let you all know how Catherine is doing...

I just got the latest news from Chris and the rest of the family up at UCSF that the surgery is over and everything went very well! The new kidney is working, and both Catherine and her donor Sarah are in recovery.

I'm sure it's been a long, emotional day for everyone, and I'm so glad to give you some great news!
Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers through the first step in this process, and I know Catherine appreciates your love, strength, and support for the long road ahead.

I will keep you posted with the latest as soon as I hear more...

The day before

Today I embark on my journey to San Francisco for my kidney transplant. ok, since I live locally, it is journey in theory only ..but a journey nonetheless. I have been waiting for a kidney transplant for almost 4 years. You would think I would be excited and anxious to be getting off dialysis and moving on to a better life. But unfortunately I don't feel that way at all. I can't see past the struggle I will endure the next few weeks to see the positive and I have so many fears.

Fear the transplant will not work
Fear there will be complications during the surgery
Fear I will reject the kidney and therefore cause pain and suffering of myself and my best friend (donating the kidney) for no reason
Fear this will not do what everyone says and many will be disappointed
Fear that I will again be forced to accept the help of my friends and family just to survive.

Anticipation is the hardest part of surgery..major or minor. I was always comfortable with doctors and took all the hard medical treatments with a smile. But, this one is the most difficult for me. I can't wait for it to be over so I can move forward and deal with whatever results may come.

I always try to smile. I don't tell when I am hurting, and I pretend to be fine when I am incredibly sick. This blog is not going to be like that at all. I want to be honest. In the weeks to come I will have both good days and bad. I hope this not only allows my loved ones to follow along but also helps someone else one day. On days I am too sick, I will have others post for me. I will do my best to keep all informed.

Thanks for all the support..until next time.
Cath