a late post

Sorry for not posting for a while. It was hard with Chris gone, and since he has been back, I have just been trying to catch up. The last week has been very difficult for me. Not because I am really sick, or in tremendous pain, but because I am not normal yet. I don't have the energy to do all the housework yet, or handle everything life gives us each day. But I feel like I should be better by now. I look around and I see a million things to do. But, I still have a lot of limitations. I just hope that down the road I can be back to the way I was before I got sick...or even better.

Today I went to my month check up. I counted my month as 4 weeks post surgery. But, the doctors considered the 16th of this month as my month post surgery. I am losing one medication, Fluconazole or Diflucan. That is a pill I take once a week. Everything else is staying the same, but even that one pill is a start. I also was given permission to drive a little bit and take a bath. I wasn't suppose to be allowed to do these things for two more weeks. Amazing how little advancements are such victories.

The time Chris was gone was very hard on me. I rely on him so much. He really is my rock. My mother was great. She was constantly here making sure I was ok and taking care of Donovan. My in-laws even took Donovan for 24 hours. I can't tell you how empty my house is without my boys. It is just so hard to take care of a 3 year old when you can't pick him up. Its very difficult to convince yourself you are a good mother when you can't be alone with your child all day.

I had my usual tests today at UCSF. I didn't hear anything back, so I guess that is good. Everything seems to be stable. I tried to stop by Sarahs on the way home, but I didn't get a hold of her until I was back in San Jose. I leave for UCSF at 6.15 am. I usually leave to come back home around lunch. I just couldn't get ahold of her before then. I will post an update on her as soon as I hear.

I can't thank you all enough for your support. The meals, helping with Donovan..even the littlest chores mean so much to me. None of it goes unnoticed. I think it is human nature to concentrate on the negative. I have lost friends who expect me to be the same person I was before I got sick. They look at me to be there for them in a way I can't be right now. But so many more have stepped up and become amazing sources of strength for me.

For that I am really greatful.

Catherine